Dark-Haired British Doctor Chapter 378

Episode 378: Shodak [3]

“From the distant and mysterious land of Chosun, we welcome you, the sorcerer, heart-throbber, body part-cutting master, father of cocaine, liberator of diabetes, and master of bloodletting, Dr. Tiepey Young. Please give him a round of applause!”

“Wow!”

Our hospital auditorium is mainly used for dissection demonstrations and surgical demonstrations.

A theater shouldn't let anyone miss a scene, but this is even worse.

Now that I have connections with the police and the like, the supply of corpses has become smoother, and thanks to advances in anesthesia and disinfection, surgeries have become quite frequent, so it's been a long time since I've seen anything like it…

Until just a few years ago, for most medical students, teaching in this lecture hall was their only practical training.

It was even worse a few decades ago, so the auditorium was built really steeply.

I thought I might fall down if I got too close, but the place was packed with high-ranking British officials.

'her…….'

They weren't just gathered together, they were cheering like crazy.

Certainly, I thought that the obsession with stamina among older men was quite remarkable.

"female."

At the very front were, as expected, high-ranking officials such as William IV, His Royal Highness the Duke of Cambridge, and Jamie and Sir Damien.

The seat next to me was empty, whether it was to respect their authority or something.

Those are the kind of people who would do something like that.

"hello."

So, before I formally greeted them, I greeted them individually by shaking their hands.

It was a formal greeting even though I had seen him a few days ago.

I do this out of courtesy, but… … .

'As expected… … It's Pi Young-shin.'

'Isn't he the one and only personal physician of His Majesty?'

'You seem to be close with the other Dukes as well?'

'I wouldn't have been given a title of nobility for nothing. It would be good to look good.'

There were also some things that I wanted others to see.

If it were before, something inside me would have stopped me from doing something like this… … .

I have already decided to become a show doctor.

Then shouldn't we do it properly?

Ever since I was little, I've been the type of person who needs to do that to feel better.

“Well, hello! I’m Kim Tae-pyeong, who was just introduced to you! Nice to meet you!”

Anyway, after boasting about my friendship with those high-ranking people, I shouted in the loudest voice I could.

Since there were no microphones back then, I had to shout.

It was a bit difficult even though I was prepared for it.

however…….

'It's very important from now on.'

I didn't come to this podium to do some simple show-stopping.

There is only one thing that is important to me: the salvation of humanity.

I did some research before coming.

What do people eat as an energy booster these days?

'Dried donkey genitals, strange hallucinogenic mushrooms, cooked cow body parts, bat eyeballs… … .'

I'm not just reciting witch recipes, I'm reciting things that are out there on the streets of London.

Even this is pretty good.

It might be a little disgusting, but you won't die right away.

What I'm saying is that there are things that will kill you if you eat them.

I don't know why this is, but the trio of mercury, arsenic, and lead is still there.

It seems that the properties of these three substances were quite attractive to mankind.

‘Well… … If you look at it without knowing, it’s all fascinating.’

Isn't mercury a metal like water?

We all know that mercury has a low melting point, so it doesn't seem like much, but to those who don't know, it feels like a miracle.

'arsenic?'

To be honest, I think the subtle color of arsenic is pretty.

I wonder if the color of Goryeo celadon was like this.

I feel a little disloyal, but I wonder if the secret to the color of Goryeo celadon might also lie in arsenic.

This is a stupid idea from a guy who has sold his country for a hundred days, so please ignore it even if it is uncomfortable.

'lead?'

Needless to say, lead.

As soon as lead is added, all materials become usable by humans.

It is also great for use on roofs, tanks, and water pipes, as well as paint.

Because it doesn't rust and is easy to handle.

Even when added to wine, it not only prevents it from going rancid, but also makes it sweeter.

Of course, you may wonder if these characteristics I listed have anything to do with actual vitality, but surprisingly, quite a few people with high levels of energy are taking this with quite serious faces.

“I think you all will agree that these people here are the pillars of the British Empire.”

I left those thoughts behind and continued speaking calmly, as befitting my reputation as a Kura Master.

It was a phrase I thought of on my way back from the camp.

Since I had already decided which people I would say these phrases to and thought of them, it felt quite natural.

“You have all worked very hard, day and night, devoting yourselves solely to the prosperity of the British Empire, and further, to this world and to the Lord.”

When a person does something great, he or she naturally feels proud of himself or herself.

If you compliment him, he will naturally feel better.

Of course, there are people who are wary of excessive praise… … .

If the person praising is someone like me who is considered great by everyone, then it's a different story.

Well, there are many people here who got into their positions not because they were good, but because they were purely lucky… … .

That's the way people like us think, and in a time when the caste system was strong, people with such a sense of entitlement were considered strange.

'also.'

Everyone is nodding.

Even William IV, who never really did anything for Britain and only did strange things, is doing so.

There was also Jamie, the guy who cut off his own body parts, but he's still a pretty capable guy.

I've done all sorts of things, from arsenic to body parts to cocaine…

Still, it has contributed considerably to the development of Britain.

“I have spent quite a few years like that. Now that I am older, I look in the mirror and see that the energetic young man is nowhere to be found, and only an old man who has served his country with loyalty remains.”

I feel like I'm amazing all over again.

How can you say such a thing so shamelessly while looking at William IV and others?

Every time something like this happens, I feel God's providence.

I feel like it was no accident that I returned to the 19th century.

“People say, ‘You’re old and foolish. Why are you being a prostitute?’ But I dare say it here. Your devotion must be rewarded. That is the providence of this world that the Lord created.”

"amen!"

He's saying Amen, Amen like a ghost.

Well, at first glance, what I'm saying may sound like a sermon.

In my defense, I would say that politicians these days also tend to say things like this.

It means that this is an era where romance still remains.

Although many things changed during the World War I, a war that took a toll on people.

Just look at Churchill's famous speech on the eve of World War II and you'll see that there's definitely less room for the Lord.

But not now.

Darwin's theory of evolution hadn't even been developed yet.

“I know that you are all trying to come up with your own self-help measures. Now, bring them.”

Joseph and Alfred, who were appointed as chief assistants today according to my words, came forward proudly carrying several medicinal herbs.

The basket contained the things I had listed earlier, and I opened them all one by one, giving reasonable reasons for each.

The obstacle was the body parts of a cow, and the concept of a substance entering the body and being digested and changed was not yet in place.

Why else would there be a material called human body parts that I had not prepared, but which was secretly distributed in the back alleys of London?

“Humans and cows are completely different. Of course, you may see results, but… there are serious side effects. This is the proof.”

In the end, I had to show the king the formalin-pickled heart and prostate, and the prisoner who was so desperate that he couldn't actually urinate on his own, in the auditorium.

“Really… Are you really doing it here…?”

It would not be an exaggeration to say that people in the 19th century, who had little or no concept of human rights, especially prisoners who were locked up for killing several people, felt it was a bit awkward to lower their pants in front of people who were tightly packed in the steeply lined auditorium seats.

But what can I do?

“If you don’t fight, you die.”

“Ugh…… Ugh…… This vicious…….”

“Who would say that? Joseph!”

"yes!"

Literally, if you don't fight, you die.

And people tend to think that holding in poop is the only thing that's painful, but that's just ignorance.

The pain caused by a distended bladder is equally as painful.

Besides, the anus usually just opens up when the pain becomes unbearable?

Of course, this is not always the case, and in some cases, the stool may need to be surgically removed later, but since this enlarged prostate physically blocks the ducts, it cannot come out even if there is pain.

“Take your pants down.”

“Whoa.”

The prisoner, who had been forced to drink water, looked as if he was going to die, but quickly pulled down his pants and lay down on the platform.

Bam.

Joseph disinfected the exposed scrotum with his familiar hands and then inserted a catheter.

For most cases, we could make a rubber band in our lab to fix the hypertrophy, but in the case of these patients, the hypertrophy was so severe that it was difficult to see in the natural state, so we had to insert a metal tube.

“Oh.”

“Can you still live like that…?”

“Isn't he dead?”

“Excuse me, look at how much urine I’m releasing…….”

The visual impact was that great.

“Ugh…… Ugh!”

Even so, it would be nothing compared to the shock that the prisoner who was directly hit would experience… … .

“For this reason, even bovine body parts are not allowed.”

“It won’t work…….”

“No matter how important stamina is, that’s a bit much.”

His sacrifice seems to have caused the vast majority of people to abandon their obsession with body parts.

The reason I didn't say I threw it all away was because I was sure that there would be some people who would think, 'Well, then why don't you just urinate occasionally?'

Those who say that this can't be possible should go back to the 19th century.

I'll convince you right away.

“So, here’s something I, Kim Tae-pyeong, have prepared. It’s a liquid made by collecting only the good things for men.”

"her……."

I confess now that I didn't like oriental medicine doctors that much in my previous life.

There are probably many reasons, but I won't mention them all.

'It's strange how they're competing with us.'

Is there a magical power in herbal medicine?

We have seen more than once that people who really want to quit taking the medicine we give cannot take the herbal medicine because there is no herbal medicine available.

“Colonel!”

"yes!"

Colin and John Snow, who were appointed as assistant chiefs today, came up with a medicine bowl.

It may not be the exact shape.

I just tried to make it have a vaguely oriental, mysterious feel.

Actually, it's roughly baked, so I'm not sure if it'll turn out well.

But… … .

"oh……."

Who am I?

He is a Joseon shaman.

What I'm saying is that everything I put out has to be plausible.

“Indeed…… The purpose of Joseon medicine is not to cure disease, but to prevent it.”

Since even our Joseon fanboy Liston is doing that, the effect is bound to be even better.

'Master, forgive me.'

If our professor saw this, he would have thrown the scalpel away and said, 'This evil bastard'…

First of all, he is not here.

Mess?

It's only for me.

First of all, there is no proper medicine.

After coming up with several excuses, I finally felt at ease and was able to concentrate on making the herbal medicine again.